A Completely Useless Countdown

The clock has just passed the midnight hour here in the UK, meaning one thing - it's Thursday October 15th 2009, and in less than 17 hours the third series of The Sarah Jane Adventures will debut across television screens everywhere*.

TODAY'S THE DAY SJA FANS... :)

Now I know what you're thinking - the time between reading this and watching that seems like an eternity right now.

If only there were some way to hurry things along...?

Well, lucky for you SARAH-JANE.tv is on hand to help you through these last handful of hours! Here's what we advise you do, in no particular order:

1: Take down your series one DVD boxset. You know the one; it's been gathering dust these past few months, lying neglected in your bedroom. Well, not today! Choose an adventure of your choice from within it, and watch from start to finish. This humble writer recommends Phil Ford's brilliant Eye of the Gorgon, if only to remind yourself of one of the SJA's most beautiful scenes, involving Chrissie making a confession to her stone-statue ex-husband.

2: Listen to those SJA audio adventures you've bought and not quite had a chance to listen to yet. According to the reader's poll we've conducted here on SJ.tv the past two years, the best is The Glittering Storm - but why don't you make your own mind up?

3: Whilst you're at it, White Wolf and The Shadow People are out now, so if you haven't already bagged them, what are you waiting for... Get to your nearest WHSmith or Waterstones now!

4: Read this Den of Geek review of tonight's episodes (SPOILERS, mind).

5: Play around with any SJA action figures you might have. If you have a Doctor Who Judoon figurine then even better - you can add that into the mix, and you can attempt to predict what might happen in tonight's episode. Use your Hoix toys as a temporary Veil.

6: Scroll through Doctor Who Magazine's Sarah Jane Smith special - whether that's in the comfort of your own bedroom, or in the magazine aisle at ASDA or wherever. Random factoid taken from it - last season's Secrets of the Stars was originally intended to be a sequel to the classic 1976 Doctor Who adventure Masque of Mandragora. Bet 'cha didn't know that... unless you did of course. Which is kinda obvious.

7: Book tickets for Liverpool One's SJA event on Saturday 24th October or Sunday 25th. They're screening The Wedding of Sarah Jane Smith, you know. Oh, and if that wasn't enough... me and Nabu will be there. Whoo!

8: Join Gallifrey Base. It'll come in handy for after the episode has aired and you want to a) tell the world how great it was, or b) how bad you thought it was, and you think it's a sign that the show is now generally crap and you want nothing more to do with it. If you choose b) then you're still going to troll the internet forum for the duration of the show's run, complaining even more. Even though you're with the hate, and most definitely not a fan. Oops.

9: Set up a Sarah Jane Smith website. Scratch that, don't - 'cos we all know that SARAH-JANE.tv satisfies any need you might have for Miss Smith online. ;) Hey!! What do you mean, no it doesn't?!

10: Make sure you have the VCR/DVD-R/Sky+/etc. primed and ready to record the second the show begins.

11: Organise an SJA themed party. Perhaps you could 'do a Nabu' and cook some lovely cookies imprinted with the series logo upon them. Other ideas: Judoon Jaffa Cakes, Cluke Fairy Cakes and Rotten Rani Apples.

12: Hog the remote... DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT let anybody change the channel away from BBC One once four o'clock hits and CBBC begins.

13: Waste five minutes reading a completely useless list of things to do over the next couple of hours on some silly fansite; things that you probably have no intention of doing anyway. Of all the things on this list, if I had to pick the one that I doubt anybody will manage to do before 4:35pm, my money's on this...

Oh.

Balls.

Remember!! Prisoner of the Judoon airs on BBC One tonight, at 4:35pm.

Miss it at your peril!

Yo, to, clo, tho, co, mo!

*Well, ok... just the UK.